Darkened Soul (When Watchers Fall) Read online

  I nod. “I’ve never seen it activated before, but—” I hold out a hand to block the mini sun.

  He studies me before his eyes return to the table and then shoot back to me. “Nyx, what do you see when you look at it?”

  “Blinding light?” It starts to dim, and I lower my hand.

  His eyes dart again, almost frantic before they stop, unfocused on the air in front of him. “You see…” Rosdan lets the dagger clatter onto the table. “Oh shit, you see divinity.”

  I sit back as he suddenly three-sixties off the floor and into the center of the room, holding his arms out.

  “What do you see?”

  “Is this a trick question?” I ask because, right now, I see an angel on the verge of losing it.

  He strides toward me and swoops down onto one knee in front of me. “You said you can sense life force if you focus on it. What do you sense when you look at me?”

  I narrow my eyes at him before I close them and concentrate on finding the essence inside of him. “White light mostly. Warmth.”

  “Is it the same as what you sense from Chaz?”

  Still searching him, I tilt my head. “You’re … more, if that makes sense?” I blink my eyes open, meeting his. “All the way in the center, you’re the same, but the rest—”

  “It’s like the blade,” he says, pushing to his feet. “Holy fuck. The rest is like the blade.” He walks off, pulling at the back of his hair. “Two things differentiate an angel from mortals—their immortal soul and divine light. But the light is what makes us immortal. It’s why Chaz is mortal right now, and he looks different because you’re not seeing his light.”

  I glance around the room before landing on the weapon. I focus, seeking out the energy, and then the white light appears. “Turn it on.” I wave my hand at the table and stand beside him. “Activate it or whatever.”

  Rosdan grabs the last vial from the table and twists the lid. I squint as he starts to tip it, bracing for the brightness, but I still have to look away when the blood drips onto the blade. It throws me off at first because I can’t sense life—just the overwhelming light. I let my eyes fall closed, wading through the sensations, and then I feel something familiar. A soothing heat that’s crept over my skin more than once.

  “Chaz,” I whisper.

  I latch on, trying to keep it separate from the rest. The longer I concentrate, the more distinct it becomes, and I slowly gain control. I drag his light toward me. My nails bite into my palms, each breath a struggle while all of me goes into keeping ahold of it.

  “Oh my God.” Rosdan shifts beside me as the light clears the steel.

  I fight to bring it further into the room, but I can’t handle it anymore. The second I release Chaz’s light, it retreats into the weapon. Every muscle aches, and my head pounds. None of it matters though.

  Ros throws his arms in the air and laughs until he turns to me. “Whoa, sweetheart.” He slides an arm around my waist, keeping me upright.

  “Get Chaz,” I tell him after a second.

  Even though I’m exhausted, I want nothing more than to rip his light out of that stupid weapon and push it as far into him as possible. I steady myself and shove on Rosdan’s arm to prove I’m capable of standing.

  He grins and grabs my face, kissing my forehead before he goes to bang on the bathroom door.

  The light is still blinding me, so I go to the bedroom to wait. Without any lights, the throbbing in my head eases. I’d crawl straight into bed, but if Chaz finds me there, he’ll make me rest first.

  I turn on the bedside lamp. As I bring up my knee to sit on the mattress, I notice the closet is open. The books are gone from the dresser, with the picture of Nyla and me in their place. The one of Chaz and his brothers is in the corner of the frame. A chill rushes through me as Rosdan’s knocking stops, and I look down at the bed.

  He comes up behind me, stopping the second he sees me picking up the envelope from the pillow. “No he fucking didn’t.” Rosdan runs out.

  I haven’t even lifted the flap yet when he breaks through the bathroom door. His footsteps approach again, and I hand him the letter. One side is for him and Cass, the other side for me.

  “Did you read yours?” Rosdan asks, an unfamiliar edge to his tone.

  “Only the beginning.”

  I know you’ll forgive me eventually—even if it takes the next century. And I swear, we’ll both still fucking be here in a century.

  Within minutes, Cass and Hannah appear in the living room. Rosdan has read the letter at least five times, always offering it to me when he finishes. I shake my head each time, too furious to even see Chaz’s handwriting.

  “So…” Cass paces through the living room. “That asshole left me his charges, and you”—he gestures to me on the couch as he passes—“his fucking girlfriend.”

  “Yep,” Rosdan says, skimming the letter again. But then he looks up, an apology on his face. “Well, he didn’t leave me Nyx. He demanded I keep her safe, or he’ll blade me.”

  I turn away and bite my lips together until the tightness in my throat disappears.

  “And we’re supposed to…” Cass waits for Rosdan to find the exact wording on the paper.

  “Go bust his ass out when we finally jailbreak his divinity.”

  Cass stops and leans against the far wall, lowering his head. “I can’t believe he fucking went to Abaddon. We were handling this.”

  “We knew he wouldn’t bury his head for long, Kasdaye.” Rosdan lets the letter flutter to the coffee table. “I’m surprised we kept him here for as long as we did.”

  I swipe a rogue tear, hoping no one noticed, but Hannah scoots down the cushion. She doesn’t say anything. Just stays beside me. At least one person can stay and not teleport out of the bathroom to go turn themselves over to Abaddon.

  “He won’t hurt him,” Cass says, and I look up. His head is back against the wall, his eyes on me. They’re softer than usual and not glaring a hole through me for once. “He’ll keep him locked up, but as long as they’re connected, Donny will assure Chaz doesn’t even catch a fucking cold.”

  I force a small smile and nod, but inside, it feels like I’m standing beside Nyla’s bed. Only this time, I didn’t get a goodbye. I got a letter and a shitty apartment.

  Rosdan shakes his head, scanning the room. “I just can’t believe he’d willingly go back to the cage.”

  “Cage?” I ask.

  Rosdan winces. “He never mentioned Donny and the cage?”

  I shake my head, sitting forward. I knew Chaz hated Abaddon, but since he never gave me a reason, I decided it was because of the demon’s ridiculous vendetta against him.

  Cass sighs from where he’s propped against the wall. “The only other time Abaddon successfully pulled off a revenge plan, he imprisoned Chaz in a cage.”

  “What?” Hannah says, looking to Rosdan for confirmation.

  “Before we were sent to Earth, we…” He rubs the back of his neck. “It never should have happened.”

  Cass crosses the room and picks up the letter. “Donny was going to keep him in there until he found the Dimming Blade. But we found him first. It took us almost two hundred years, and then we had to get him out. Abaddon had that thing spelled to shit, and if it wasn’t for Samy’s amulet, he’d probably still be in there.”

  No wonder he felt suffocated, being stuck in here for so long. Not that a cage could possibly be any better, even with the questionable carpet in the hallway.

  I’m staring at the dagger on the table, and when I look up, both of the angels are staring at me. “What?”

  Rosdan’s eyes shift to the side to Cass. “We know how to get his light back to him…”

  “And after the desert disaster, I made sure he gave me a few vials’ worth of blood, so we could track him.” Cass tips his head as if weighing a decision.

  My mouth dries as I realize what they’re saying, and I bolt off the couch. “Let’s go. If we get the blade close enough, I can get the light i
nto him.”

  Hannah’s at my side, and once Cass’s attention moves to her, everything about him is conflicted. After a second, he shakes his head. “In theory, we know how to get his light back to him. We have no idea if it’ll actually work.”

  “Right,” Rosdan says, his line of sight following his brother’s. “And if we get in there and it doesn’t work, we’re all-out fucked. I won’t have easy access to my powers, and we can’t risk Hannah being there in danger just so you can use yours.”

  They both deflate a little, and I see them switching courses.

  “No.” I pick up the blade, wrapping my hand around the handle. But unlike last time, I’m on the right end of the tip. “It will work. It’s no different than passing life from me into him. Let me show you.”

  Cass and Rosdan backpedal when I step forward.

  “Not on any one of your fucking lives,” Cass says, extending his arm all the way out so he can take the knife from my hand without his body being anywhere near it. “We’re trying to fix the problem, not multiply it.”

  Rosdan’s watching me when I look over.

  “You saw me bring the light out, Armaros. You know this will work.”

  The room falls silent for a few beats, his eyes sweeping over to Cass again.

  Then he licks his lips and nods. “Fuck it. Stab me.”

  The Lower follows behind me like a puppy on his leash as I step out of the portal. I stop to close it, and he messes with the light-infused chain around his neck, so I give it a tug—harder than if he were truly a puppy and not a being of Hell. His hands fall away. Such a good boy.

  I snagged three different demons outside the apartment building before I caught one stalking around on behalf of Donny. He’d brought the chain for me, so one tackle and a quick spell later, and he was staring up from the ground at the glowing amulet in my hand. Without a word from me, he was promising to show me straight to the Upper.

  “The desert?” I say, looking around. “What is his deal?”

  The sunset still burns the sky while I look around the scrubby desert floor with a few rock formations towering nearby along with a cliff. My Lower points toward one of them. Seconds later, Abaddon teleports in front of the boulder. Along with five grungy demons.

  “You agreed to let me go,” the one next to me says.

  I unwrap the chain, and he teleports out with two of Donny’s lackeys following after him. Chances are, they’ll take each other out, ridding the world of a few more nuisances.

  The other four figures stay in place, lasered in on me. As I stride toward them, the Lowers ease backward, smart enough to understand that they’re the only ones who stand to get hurt.

  “What?” I say. “No smart-ass comment or Chazaqiel?”

  Donny shrugs. “Guess I’m done with the game.”

  I’d really like it if these assholes would quit referring to my existence as a fucking game, but that’s a subject for another time. I throw the chain at his feet. He looks down at the links on top of his loafer and moves his foot, so they clank to the ground.

  “Uppers keep coming for me in order to take you out. It’s annoying. So, time for a deal.”

  “You want to make a deal with me?” His slimy smirk curls the corners of his mouth. “Don’t disappoint me, pretty boy.”

  I cross my arms, letting him know what comes next isn’t up for negotiation. “Leave Kasdaye and Armaros alone. Don’t go near any of the Nephilim—mine included.”

  “So many demands, Chazaqiel. What do I get?”

  “Me.” I look him straight in the eye, not wanting him to know I’m a fucking nervous wreck inside. “I’ll go in the cage.”

  His face hardens. “Do not test me, Watcher.”

  The very thought of losing Nyx, even for a little while, is an anchor threatening to drag me down. Living without my light the past few weeks, while excruciating, has been bearable. The torture of the darkness trying to escape the amulet is tolerable. But knowing I won’t touch her, stare at those eyes, or hear her voice for decades … that’s slowly tearing apart my soul. I need to buy my brothers more time though. A real chance to figure out my light. And with Abaddon, the greatest currency is me.

  “I’m not,” I tell him. “I’ll walk in on my own and close the door behind me. Hell, I’ll even click that mystical padlock shut to save your fingers the trouble.”

  Either he’s suddenly developed a poker face or he thinks it’s bullshit. He folds one arm over his chest, propping his elbow on it and rubbing his chin. “You want something else.”

  I nod, steeling my expression. “Nyx lives her life. My brothers will protect her, and when she dies naturally, she’ll unbind us. Then you can do what you wish with me.”

  “Why?” Abaddon cocks his head to the side. “After all this time, why would you give yourself up to me?”

  Because I’m banking on the last part being a lie. Cass and Ros will figure out the blade and break me out long before Nyx dies. Once I’m immortal again, no Upper will even try to touch me. We’ll lock Abaddon up until Nyx unbinds us, and then I’ll switch to Cass’s plan—banishing the darkness from this asshole once and for all.

  Or shit goes sideways, and I’ll die in the same cage that held me for two centuries, taking the demon down with me. Either way, Nyx stays alive and safe. And I’ll chance my existence for that. I’d risk everyone’s. Now, tomorrow, forever. Sign me up for an apocalypse as long as she’s untouched at the end.

  But in response to his question, I lift a shoulder and let it fall. “Love will kill us all.” Then I add, “Remember that, Baddo. This is a learning moment.”

  “Right.” He points a finger in the air, drawing loops. “I’m jotting it down now.”

  I smile, shaking my head. “Just think, we’ll get decades of this banter.”

  He looks like he has more sass left to give, but then his head whips to the right. At the same time, my pocket heats—and glows.

  Shit.

  I slap a hand over the light, and with Donny’s attention elsewhere, he misses it. A Lower flanking him notices though. Shadows flow from his hands until I flick up my flame by my side. His eyes move to Abaddon and then back to me. Then his shadows suck back in, and he teleports out.

  Huh. That was easy. I was expecting to go all stealth and kill him without alerting everyone to the powerful amulet I’m attempting to smuggle into the cage with me. Before I get too far on the optimistic track, I check to see what has the others so distracted.

  And the train fucking explodes.

  An army of Lowers is gawking at us from the top of a cliff. I squint at the two figures off to the side and force out a laugh when I make out Braxis and Zagan.

  Great.

  The douche twins have finally worked out their issues. And right on time to fuck up my plan.

  “We really doing this?” Cass asks, standing in front of Rosdan.

  He has his arm on his brother’s shoulder, the illuminated blade between them. Since we couldn’t find any more vials of Nephilim blood, Cass slid the dagger through Hannah’s partially closed fist, dripping hers onto the metal to activate it. Much more than a vial’s worth. It only took me a few seconds to heal her. She’s standing on the other side of them, looking nearly as worried as Rosdan.

  His eyes keep bouncing from Cass to me, a little more panicked every time. “What’s the worst that can happen?” He blows out a hard breath like he’s amping himself up. “I live out a mortal life and then poof out of existence?”

  Cass nods and laughs, but there’s no humor in the room. “Yeah, brother. That’s exactly what could happen.”

  Rosdan looks over at me. “I trust her—fuck!”

  The blade plunges deep, and he grabs on to Cass’s arm. Cass aimed between the ribs, the same place as Chaz’s scar, but with a little more precision to avoid hitting anything vital. I missed this part with Chaz. The absolute torture crossing Rosdan’s face as he reaches for his side where his brother buried the point. His light flows out of him, and it’
s as if the life dies out too. His color fades, his eyes dulling.

  When Cass pulls back, Rosdan grunts and drops to his knees.

  The pain radiating from him is so much, I snatch the handle out of Cass’s grasp and lower down beside him. I focus, finding the energy I felt earlier inside of Rosdan. The exhaustion returns as I slowly bring his light out of the steel. It only needs to travel a few inches to Rosdan’s chest. I throw the dagger off to the side, and once the light touches him, he hauls in a deep breath like he was suffocating without it.

  “Shit,” he says, nearly panting. Then he lunges at me, tackling me to the floor in a hug. “Thank you. Fuck.” He jumps up, still breathlessly cursing, and lifts me to my feet.

  I get an approving nod from Cass, and he reaches for the weapon.

  “Wait.” Rosdan shakes his head, his hands flexing. “Something’s not right.”

  Terrified I somehow screwed it up, I tense. “You can’t feel your light?”

  “No,” he says, looking up, and then his palms start glowing. “I can feel it. All of it.”

  He disappears from beside me, and a few seconds later, Cass fishes his phone out of his pocket.

  “What?” he answers. His eyes widen as Rosdan drops in from where he left, and they both lower their phones.

  “They’re all safe.” Rosdan combs a hand through his hair, visibly shaken. “Alistair and the triplets are asleep, and Mark’s watching a nature documentary.” The room falls silent until he says, “I have my powers back, no Nephilim required.”

  Cass flips the blade around, handing it to Rosdan. “Stab me—no.” He swivels around to Hannah. “You do it. I’ll go ballistic on Ros.”

  “Hell no,” she says.

  He cocks a brow at her. After a second, she tosses me a concerned glance and grabs the hilt. Cass pulls up his shirt and tugs her forward by the wrist, lining up the point for her. His hand stays on her as he nods, his nostrils flaring.

  And then she thrusts forward.

  His jaw muscles work below the skin, but the only sound he makes is rough breaths, his focus always on Hannah. Just like with Rosdan, he grows peaked as the light leaves him. He moves Hannah’s hand back and grips the handle, rotating to me.