Darkened Soul (When Watchers Fall) Read online

  I pull out the fresh blocker bag I assembled from my magic stash before we left. Instead of chanting for three hours to create a permanent block, I dump the contents onto the floor in front of me. If I can use enough light from the amulet, I should be able to create a temporary one.

  Nyx rushes in as I take the amulet out of my pocket.

  “Five minutes,” I tell her.

  She stops long enough to give me her melty eyes before she runs up the stairway off to the side.

  A nurse called my phone a few minutes ago and said Nyla’s breathing was under control, but we were already portal-jumping at that point.

  Clutching the amulet in my hand, I hold it over the scattered ingredients and chant its spell. The light glows brighter than usual. Much brighter. Heat coats my palm and creeps up my forearm. It sends the darkness fleeing. I ignore the ache shooting down my other shoulder and pooling in my fingertips and mumble the words I’ve chanted so many damn times. Soon, the crystals on the floor move into a cluster, forming a short-term barrier to prevent anything with angel or demon powers from entering.

  “Excuse me?”

  I spin to a woman walking down the stairs. Stethoscope, scrubs, and quite the mean mug set on me and my mystical mess. Luckily, the amulet seems to be in a giving mood tonight, and I slip it over my head. The cold knot forms in my chest, but the light balances out, and I call it into my palms. I meet her at the bottom of the stairs and quickly bring my hands to her cheeks.

  “Don’t step on my stuff, okay?” I say as she glazes over. “And after we leave, you won’t remember it was even there.” She nods, and I give her a quick smile. “That’s my girl. Now, tell me what happened with your patient tonight.”

  “From what we can tell, she was short of breath and worked herself into a panic attack.” She stays monotone, delivering the answer without feeling. “Her breathing has stabilized, and we’re giving her oxygen and monitoring pain levels.”

  My gaze flashes up the stairs before returning to her. “And how much time do you think she has left?”

  “Not long.”

  I feel the power wavering. “You won’t remember talking to me, but once we leave, you’ll call her contact at the slightest change.”

  After I let her go, I make sure she blinks out of the daze and then deactivate the amulet on my way upstairs.

  The second floor is small. Only three rooms—one a bathroom, one closed off, and the other where I find Nyx. She’s on the bed with her back against the wall and her legs over top what I imagine is Nyx plus seventy-some years. From the doorway, I don’t get much more than long white hair and pale, wrinkly hands, and I can’t say I’ve paid much attention through the orb.

  The old wooden floor creaks under my feet, and Nyx is beaming before she even looks up at me. She scrambles off the bed, not worried at all about crushing the poor woman. Her eyes are bright, and I’ve never seen her look more alive. Everything about her is warm and light.

  “How is she?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “She’s weaker than the last time I saw her. I told her about Abaddon and where I’ve been without triggering another panic attack, though, so that’s a plus.” She glances over her shoulder, chewing her lip when her face comes back around. “Will you meet her?”

  “Will I meet your sister while I’m holding you hostage?”

  Before I have a chance to say no, Nyx is hauling me toward the bed. Once we’re close, she spins and holds her arms up to cover me—because she can hide the six-two dude three feet away. But she commits. With her hands on my face, she checks behind her. “Promise you won’t quit breathing?”

  Jesus. I pull her wrists away, and she whips around. The playful glare she serves reminds me of the first time we met. So much fire beneath her surface, stoked and ready to burn.

  She pulls me another few steps and keeps her fingers curled around my arm after we stop. “Nyla, this is Chaz.”

  I look down at the frail, old woman in the bed. She has oxygen in her nose and tired eyes. Nyx’s eyes but duller in color. I’ve followed hundreds of charges from birth through death. So many that I could accurately sketch what Kai and Avery will look like in fifty years. The reverse happens with Nyla. I can smooth her skin, add color and shine into her hair, bring out her cheekbones. I adjust her features in my mind, rewinding her to match the picture I took from Nyx’s hallway, and it’s like seeing them both at every age.

  Having no gauge as to what the fuck I’m supposed to do when meeting my captive’s sister, I lift my chin in a nod. One side of Nyla’s mouth perks in response, and Nyx tightens her grip on me. She squeaks and looks up at me, her face even more illuminated than when I walked in.

  And the guilt finally hits. It’s not the twinge from in the desert when she told me why she’d helped Abaddon. Not the wave last week when Rosdan asked if I knew what she needed to try and save her sister. The guilt washing over me right now, as I see her this fucking happy over a half-smile, it settles in my bones.

  After Nyx returns the crystal to the bag and cleans up the protection spell in the entryway, she meets me outside. She’s already dimmed a little by the time I open the portal. Since mine max out, we leave the front lawn of the farmhouse and step out on the highway, maybe a mile away.

  The second my shoes touch asphalt, something instantly feels wrong. The air is tight and too still. My hands hook around Nyx’s legs while I check in each direction down the abandoned highway. Then the breeze picks up, carrying the faintest scent of burnt soul.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks.

  I shrug so she slides off my back, and I bring her to my side while closing the portal. As I fish out my phone, the first shadow moves in the ditch. Then another and another.

  “Chaz.” Nyx tugs on my arm, but I don’t need to look. She’s seeing the same thing on the other side of the road.

  “Are they grungy? Like you want to shower just from looking at them?”

  “Yes,” she says. “Four of them.”

  Lowers. And seven of them total. Not a usual demon number.

  Then I hear, “Hello, love.”

  I turn toward the voice, and standing on the centerline with his hands behind his back is who has quickly become my second least favorite Upper.

  “I’ve been looking for you.” Hex is locked on to Nyx and not paying attention to me in the least.

  “Stall,” I whisper, tapping away on my phone.

  Nyx side-eyes me, doubtful, but then she sends him a venomous smile. “Are you here to grovel out an apology?”

  Hex laughs. “I tried the apology route. And you repaid me by disappearing and leaving me to face the boss all on my own.”

  Finished ratting myself out to Cass, I pocket my phone. I texted Hannah to save time. Poor girl will see the thirteen exclamation points at the end of my message and flip her shit.

  Nyx runs her hand up my arm. “It’s not my fault I found someone who plays the game better than you.”

  His eyes flick to me, tension creeping across his face. By stall, I didn’t mean get me maimed with a fireball from her jealous ex. But I’m an asshole, so I hook an arm around her waist and wink at him. The flame flares to life in his hand. I consider showing him mine since he’s showing me his and all. Only the fire extinguishes a second later when he looks beyond us.

  Fuck.

  “Is Abaddon behind me?” I ask.

  She glances, and her entire body tensing is my answer.

  “Of fucking course he is.” I rotate enough to see the demon’s red beams.

  Hex opens a portal. “We’re square then, Abaddon. Consider my debt paid in full.” He offers Nyx a tight smile and steps through.

  “Chazaqiel,” Abaddon says. “What a pleasant surprise. And with my little mystery princess.”

  “Gang’s almost all here,” I deadpan. I blow out a breath and hand Nyx my phone. “Send another round of exclamation points to—” A burst of divine light interrupts me, and I take the phone back. “Never mind.”

  Cass ap
pears in a blaze between us and where Hex was standing before he bailed. After a fuck you look to me, he lifts his glowing palms and juts his chin in Abaddon’s direction. “You finally had your chance to end him, and you blew it? Damn, Donald.” His eyes cut to us, and I move Nyx between us, creeping toward him while he distracts. “I don’t know how you’ll recover from something like this.”

  We stop when the demon’s shoulders heave in a growl, his flame reflecting in his eyes.

  Uppers. So damn touchy.

  “Aww, look.” I pout my lip out. “You hurt his feelings.”

  Donny zeroes in on me, giving Cass an opening. “It’s not over yet. I will end you, Chazaqiel. And I’m coming for you next, Kasdaye.”

  And we slide backward.

  “Any damn day,” he says.

  “But, Cass”—I glance enough to note my brother’s a few cool steps closer—“how will he come after you without the Dimming Blade?”

  Abaddon’s face goes slack, and then he snarls at me. “You have the dagger?”

  “Did you not know that?” I ask.

  “How could you not know that?” my brother asks, taunting him as Nyx and I inch.

  I tug her belt loop before taking over again. “I’m pretty sure everyone knew that.”

  We must get cocky then—it happens with us—and move at the same time. Donny darts his eyes between us, realizing we’ve more than halved our distance to each other right in front of him. He doesn’t take it well, his palm flashing.

  I can’t tell which happens first—Cass’s drop or the Upper’s teleport. But I know where they’re going. I barely swing Nyx out of the way before light and dark clash where she was standing. Donny immediately retreats to a safe range, and then the rats pile in. Lowers hit Cass from every side, and when Nyx screams, I jerk her away from the one with his hands on her.

  “Don’t hurt him,” Donny commands, dodging an arc of light Cass managed to fire at him.

  “Yeah.” Cass drops to within a few feet of us. “What he said.”

  A fireball flies close enough that it forces him to drop farther away.

  “He’s going to have to cull the herd,” I tell Nyx.

  My brother’s focus goes from getting to us to taking out as many demons with one bolt as possible. It kills me to sit out of the action. I flex my hands, playing out all the moves I could be making, but instead of a rush of heat, my palms ignite with cold, shadows appearing in place of light.

  “The amulet,” Cass shouts. “I can’t tell what’s them and what’s you.”

  I mutter the spell, and the amulet bursts to life, not stopping at its usual intensity. The white glow grows until it encircles us. The Lowers flinch about as severely as I do, but they have the option of getting away from the light. Right now, we need the protection even if it’s tearing me to pieces on the inside.

  “That works too,” Cass says before impaling a demon.

  But while the Lowers scatter, Abaddon is stalking toward us. He reaches the perimeter and grunts as the light hits his skin, only slowing as he continues to push through.

  “We can’t stay here,” Nyx says. “Can’t you angel us somewhere?”

  “If by angel us you mean drop, then no. It requires wings, which require my light.”

  Abaddon stops, and it looks like he might give up. Until the shadows twist and swirl around him in a demonic tornado. He takes another step, using it like a fucking shield.

  Shit. I really hate not being able to land a house on him right now.

  Our clothes flap in the wind from Donny’s vortex.

  “Cass,” I shout over the growing roar. “We need to go.”

  “You think?” He dodges a fireball, reappearing closer to us but not close enough.

  “Portal.” Nyx moves farther behind me, wincing at the dirt being kicked up. “You can portal to him, right? Or do the teleport thing?”

  “I can’t access the darkness when I’m using the amulet.” But I can feel it, ready for release. Like at the house earlier while I spell-cast.

  I check Cass, who’s still battling it out, and I rip the amulet over my head. As I hold it away from my body, the darkness storms to the opposite side.

  Nyx is ducking behind me, and I crouch. “Get on.”

  She jumps up, and I straighten, stretching out my arm so the amulet stays as far from the darkness as possible, as I concentrate on upping the power.

  “So,” I say over my shoulder, “this is either going to work or go really fucking wrong.”

  Her arms tighten around me, and I blow out a long breath. Then, I shut off the light from the amulet.

  The sudden loss of resistance throws Donny off-balance. He loses control of his shadows and stumbles forward, his eyes bulging when I open a portal and wave with the amulet hand as I step through.

  We come out just short of Cass, who drops in the opposite direction to avoid a fireball.

  “Chaz.” Nyx jerks on my left shoulder, and I turn in time to see the Lower aiming at us.

  I activate the spell and blast him with a flash of divinity, grimacing until I return to shadows. And like she’s riding a damn horse, Nyx tugs me around, so I can catch another with a wave of energy. I teleport then, popping up beside a Lower on the sidelines. It feels fan-fucking-tastic, watching him blow backward when I light him up.

  We knock out a few more before Nyx shrieks. I jerk sideways as a demon tries to drag her off me by the leg. With him so close, I press the amulet straight to his forehead. The darkness races out of him to escape the shock of divinity, and he collapses beside us.

  This time, I teleport in right behind Cass. He whips around about to nail me with his light, but his hand falls when he sees us.

  His shoulders slump in a deep exhale. “Jesus, man.” He spins to pitch one last bolt at Abaddon, a smirk on his face as the demon goes soaring. “Bad dog, Abby.” And then he grabs on to us and drops.

  As soon as my feet land in the hallway outside my apartment, I throw open the door and cross the threshold with Nyx still on my back. Once we’re protected by the blocker bag, Cass drops again. He’ll bounce around to guarantee no demons are following him, and then he’ll want to see Hannah. He always does after an attack. I would text her to tell her we’re safe, but he needs her light.

  I shut the door, feeling Nyx slide off. “You good?” I ask.

  She doesn’t answer, so I check over my shoulder. She’s standing a few feet behind me, her focus far away.

  “Hey,” I say, spinning around.

  She’s taking shallow breaths through her mouth.

  “Nyx.” I dip down to bring my face level with hers and brush the backs of my knuckles over her colorless cheeks. “Look at me, gorgeous.”

  She focuses in on me, her chest rising faster. “I can’t … I can’t—”

  Her eyes drift off again, and I pick her up and carry her through the apartment. Apparently, panic attacks run right alongside resurrection and life manipulation in the Lamore family.

  She’s clinging to me when we reach the bathroom, so I slip off her shoe and sock, then I switch arms with her and nudge off the other side’s. I set her bare feet in the bathtub, breaking her hold to take off her shirt and jeans. Her leg’s already a deep red from the demon’s grip, ready to bruise.

  It only takes a few seconds for me to strip to my boxers. I step in with her, turning on the shower. Her breaths are still fast and shallow, but the cold water hits her and she sucks in a deep one.

  “There you go.” I hold her to me, rubbing up and down her back. Cold as fuck.

  After she breathes deep a few more times, she throws her arms around my middle. Her face buries in my chest, her body shivering against mine. I adjust the water, making it warmer, and smooth a hand over her hair before I wrap her tighter. Sobs shudder through her, and she wilts into me more with each one. And I let her, the stream beating down on us while I hold her up.

  I’ve witnessed this woman die and come back to life without a single tear. She’s traipsed throu
gh the desert, been locked away with the promise of another death, and in the past hour, she thought she’d lost her sister and was dragged around by a demon. I’m not moving a goddamn muscle other than to turn the temp higher, so she can cry.

  After her sobs turn to whimpers, she shakes her head, her forehead sliding against my skin. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbles into my chest. “You knew it wasn’t safe, and I made you—”

  “Hey.” I curve my fingers under her chin and bring her out of her hiding spot. “I hate to break it to you, but you didn’t force me to do shit.”

  She’s still looking down, and I tip up her face until her eyes come to mine. They shine with fresh tears, her lashes wet, water streaming over her. She’s fucking beautiful and heart-wrenching, twisting at something deep inside me. I drop my mouth onto hers, only letting her go to turn the shower hotter.

  I’ve always imagined how the light feels on the mortal brain. Soothing heat that lulls while reality bends and curves, and then what you know isn’t what you know anymore.

  Nyx isn’t like the light. She’s fire, singeing the nerves. I don’t get to forget the before. She just makes me brutally aware that it won’t be that way again after her.

  The spray runs cool before I cut off the water. I didn’t bother pulling the curtain, so I reach for towels on the rack and fold her up in one. She pulls it tight around her, pushing her nose into the fabric while I wring out her dripping hair.

  With us both semi-dry, she follows me to the bedroom. Even though her eyes are clearer now, she still has a daze to her. She swaps out her wet underwear for dry ones, and I find her a shirt to wear. I change into sweatpants, knowing I’ll need to deal with Cass later. Only later becomes now.

  Nyx is crawling into bed when the knocking starts, and I pull on my shirt.

  “Cass,” I say, crossing the room.

  As I click on the lamp, my eyes land on the tie. My hand is still hovering over it from turning on the light, and Nyx pushes onto her knees. She moves to my side of the mattress, holding her hands out. Like she expects nothing that happened tonight to change anything. I can hold her, soothe her, tell her any number of things, but our ending stays the same. Our beginning, our middle. And none of it is pretty.