Darkened Soul (When Watchers Fall) Read online

  “Oh God,” I say into the kiss.

  “Sex god,” he mumbles back.

  I feel his lips turn up seconds before he pins my wrists over my head. He presses them down into the mattress while he thrusts into me, his tongue mimicking the movements of his hips. I lock my legs around him and tip my chin up when he shoves his face into my neck. His teeth nip at my skin, his hold on my wrists tightening. It isn’t like the first time when we were on an even playing field. He’s in complete control and not letting me think otherwise.

  Heat spreads through me on the inside, a chill creeping down the skin of my arms. I lose myself in both, and his name becomes a part of every exhale until I can’t tell if I’m breathing or chanting.

  Pulling back to watch me fall to pieces for him, Chaz keeps my arms overhead. He moves inside me faster and pushes deeper, his thrusts harder as he groans. His control finally shatters, and he drives into me one last time. His body tenses, his brow pulled in.

  Somehow, he’s even more beautiful.

  As he relaxes, stubble drags over my chest, up my neck, and across my jaw. My body’s still shaking beneath him when he kisses me slowly. His lips are soft and tongue gentle, and I sink into the bed. His arm leaves my side, his hand abandoning my thigh. The kiss deepens as he shifts on top of me.

  And then the fabric tightens around my wrists.

  I break my mouth away from him, looking up to where he’s knotting the ugly tie. Once he finishes, I pull my arms down between us and shove against his chest, but it only results in a smirk.

  “Just because I fucked you doesn’t mean I trust you.”

  I huff as he climbs out of bed, and he looks up and winks before walking out.

  But at least he tied me in front this time.

  Progress.

  Standing at the bathroom sink, I examine the scar from the blade for the first time from something other than a downward angle. The flesh is smooth and the edges clean. It’s not even all that badass-looking. A genuine disappointment, considering the hell I went through in getting it.

  I run a hand through my hair, opening the door. Instead of checking myself out, I should have been preparing for any aftermath there might be from screwing Nyx again. But fuck was it worth it.

  When I walk in, she’s rolled onto her side under a blanket. I lift it, confirming she’s still naked before I lie down. Sexiest damn prisoner I’ve ever kept. She doesn’t try to cover up, but her glare narrows until I let the comforter fall over us.

  “What did you do to Donny?” she asks as I stretch out on my back.

  Goddamn it. I’d rather talk about my feelings.

  “You’ve never called him Donny before.” I stack my hands behind my head. “And why would you assume it’s the angel’s fault and not the demon’s?”

  She adjusts her pillow. “I guess you’re a bad influence,” she says dryly. “Okay, what does Abaddon blame you for?”

  “Upper-level demons have a code where they keep what they kill—money, possessions, darkness, titles. It all means power, and most spend their existence scrambling for more. Figuring out who needs to die to get them what they want. Like the Demon of Destruction.”

  “Is he not the original then?”

  “Nah, Abaddon’t isn’t the original anything. He had himself lined up to take the previous one out though. Except then a small war broke out between the angels and demons. God had to reboot creation by the time we were done. It’s when Kasdaye gave him the scar on his face. I banished the darkness from a lot of demons during the fighting, the most well-known of them being the last Demon of Destruction.”

  Nyx sighs. “He wants to kill you because you killed the guy he was going to kill. Nothing more alpha bullshit than that.”

  I can’t disagree, so I continue, “Donny ended up defeating the other Uppers who’d tried to claim the title, but he still had it in his head that his legacy had been tarnished because he didn’t earn it the right way. The Almost-Legitimate-Except-for-a-Tiny-Loophole Demon of Destruction. The solution is to wipe me from existence to prove himself worthy.”

  “But you hate him too,” she says.

  I look up at the ceiling, over the conversation. “You were supposed to siren-song me away from Kai and Avery, so Donny could snag me without my powers, right?”

  She fidgets, and I take it as a yes.

  “So, why did we hook up at the bar? Kai was nearby, and demons wouldn’t dare attack me there. You could have suggested your car or asked me to take you somewhere.” More wiggling, so I turn my head. “Why did you have sex with me that night, Nyx?”

  She shrugs. “When else was I going to get the chance to be with one of The Fallen?” Her melty eyes engage until they suddenly lower to the bed between us. “And I tried to get you to leave with me after, but you used your light on me. I wasn’t supposed to care if I saw you again or want you to call me. I couldn’t exactly…”

  She says more, but I’m in the middle of a fuck me moment.

  Call me.

  And a second later, I’m rolling out of bed. I grab my dirty-ass jeans off the floor, dragging them on instead of the shorts, and I throw Nyx’s clothes at her. “Get up.”

  She sits up on the edge of the bed, confused, her hair a mess. She looks fucking hot, and I can’t help myself. I dip down to kiss her and push her onto her back while I crawl on top of her, and I definitely have a problem because I’m thinking about being inside her again instead of untying her hands. I tug apart the knot and force myself off the bed, leaving her panting and even more confused.

  I find my shirt at the front of the camper and pull it on along with my shoes. Then I open the cupboard under the sink and grab the Dimming Blade from where I wedged it between the pipes. By the time I tuck it behind me and stand up, Nyx is in the doorway.

  “Are we going somewhere?” she asks.

  “Yep.”

  “But Jared won’t be here for hours.”

  “Fuck Jared. And not in his truck.” I tack on the last part to be an asshole.

  She doesn’t get a chance to be pissy about it, though, only getting to open her mouth before I cross the trailer and scoop her up.

  “What the hell?” she says, but her arms go around my neck.

  I pull open the inside door and nudge the latch for the screen door, kneeing it the rest of the way open. At the bottom of the stairs, I swing Nyx onto my back and open a portal.

  “Chaz, wait. What about Hex?” she whispers like he’ll hear her, holding on while I readjust her.

  “Hex has until we reach Patty’s Saloon to catch us.”

  Then we’re through the portal. It seems to go farther than the last one I created. Unnerving as shit but helpful nonetheless. In no time, we pop out beside the bar. I keep Nyx on my back, going behind the building. I pull open the screen door and see the padlock on the inner one.

  “Hold the screen,” I tell her.

  She tightens her hold with one arm and plants a hand on the wood framing the door. I blow out a breath and close my fist around the lock.

  “What are you—”

  I shush her and concentrate on earlier when I walked out of the bathroom and heard her laughing. For the fucking dude in a checkered shirt. How his eyes were glued to her tits when I pulled down on the slats of the blinds. My jaw clenches, the urge to drop him in the middle of the desert resurfacing. Then, just like last time, ice shoots down my arm and into my palm. A flash of cold flame, and when I jerk down, the lock breaks. I unhook it and throw it on the ground.

  Fuck Jared.

  “Shit,” Nyx says as I open the door. “You make flames now?”

  I shrug, and once we’re inside, she slides off my back. She holds on to my arm, following me through the dark kitchen and out into the main bar area. When we reach the pay phone, I swipe my hand underneath for quarters. A couple of coolers light the room, and I see Nyx squinting at me when I pick up the receiver and drop the quarters into the slot.

  “I thought you couldn’t remember anyone’s phone
number.”

  I smirk, dialing the one phone number I do know.

  Mine.

  Something inside me relaxes at the sound of the first ring, and by the second, someone answers.

  “Hello?” she says. “Oh my God. Chaz, be you.”

  Hannah fucking Kelley.

  I smile, slumping against the wall, and I can sense her pulse pounding. “I knew you wanted me, beautiful, but breaking into my apartment and stealing my phone?”

  I’ve barely finished when the bar fills with divine light. Now, both Nyx and I are squinting until the brightness fades. And then there’s Cass, standing in the center of the room, and I, for one, have never been more grateful for caller ID.

  The first few hours after Nyx and I get back to my apartment are eventful, to say the least. I tie Nyx up—obviously. Then Cass ties me up because he can sense the darkness taking up residence. Ros shows up shortly after and rushes to untie me, only for them to all find out I’ve taken care of it myself with the help of my new little buddy, the flame. After that, there’s a bunch of sitting around and staring at the floor while I tell them about my last few days. And Nyx.

  “Whose lineage is she from?” Cass asks. “Which of The Others?”

  Ros perks up, both of them waiting to see if she has ties to their Nephilim.

  “Kokabiel,” I say, locked on Cass.

  The muscles of his jaw work overtime beneath the skin, but he gives nothing away.

  “You said you have the Dimming Blade?” Rosdan moves us along like the exchange means nothing, and Cass shoots him an appreciative look.

  We both know if Cass wants to tell Hannah that she shares a bloodline with Nyx, he will. Not our charge, not our choice.

  When I whip out the dagger, they both lean back on the couch, instinctively putting as much space as possible between them and the thing that could end the ride.

  After a minute of no one moving, Hannah comes and throws her arms around my middle. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbles.

  “Fuck, Kelley, not in front of the guys.” But I wrap my arm around her shoulders anyway, letting out a long breath. Even with the ache from the missing light, the cold of the darkness, and the scar on my chest, it only now takes hold how screwed I am unless we undo what Donny’s done. How one wrong move can wipe me from existence.

  “Chaz…” Ros doesn’t go any further with the pity, his sad eyes darting to Cass. “We just have to reverse the direction of the light from the blade, right? The light will banish the darkness, and then we can figure out the rest.”

  Cass is honed in on Nyx with a look that even causes Hannah to shift uneasily at my side. “She has to die to unbind you?”

  Nyx shrinks into the chair, giving all the answer we need.

  “All right,” he says, “so we get you back the light, and then we kill her.”

  “What?” She sits up, shaking her head. “No, I—”

  “That’s how it works, right?” Rosdan, the only one of us who might have been her ally, raises a curious brow. “Why else would Abaddon have kept you alive?”

  She turns to me in a panic. “Please. I probably only have one resurrection left. I can’t die again.”

  “And he can?” Cass crosses the room. “You’ll still come back. He’ll cease to exist.”

  “He what?” she asks, but I look away as Cass pulls Hannah away from me.

  He tucks her into his side. “You cool with lying low until we figure out the blade?”

  I nod. “Not a huge fan of being connected to dickhead Donny, but that just means Armaros needs to get me up and glowing faster than he did the amulet.”

  Ros flips me off. “I could just stab you again and see what happens. Speaking of”—he stands up and digs the amulet out of his pocket—“put this on. It might help mask the darkness inside of you.”

  I catch the amulet and slip it over my head. “Why? You fighting the urge to strike me with a lightning bolt?”

  “Yes,” Cass says, flexing his hand. “My powers have been on since you started breathing the same air as Hannah.”

  “You’re welcome then.” I mean it as a joke, but it’s not.

  He’s swimming in light because the darkness is a threat to his charge. Brothers or not, he’ll end me before he chances anything happening to Hannah. And I wouldn’t blame him for a second.

  The amulet must remember me, and once I mutter the spell, it flashes. The cold sucks out of my extremities and knots in my chest behind the crystal, which is fading to a faint glow. I barely feel the darkness other than a soreness where it converges, but Cass nods, telling me he can’t sense it anymore, so I suck it up. Uncomfortable or not, no one in this room wants to kill me now.

  My eyes land on Nyx.

  Right. Almost no one in this room wants to kill me.

  With a tentative plan in place, I guilt my brothers into taking me across the hall. The past few days, they’ve been pulling double duty with my charges. When Hannah’s school schedule allows, Cass drops them in from Boston, so Avery can go to classes or Kai can go out for a while. Rosdan takes one or both of the twins to Seattle or hangs at the apartment if he can. And the switch-offs will continue until I can protect them myself again. The in-between times neither of them can be here, Kai and Avery are on lockdown with a blocker bag they only disengage when they hear either of my brothers’ voices.

  Kai looks up from his video game when I walk in, Avery from her book.

  “Hey,” he says at the same time she smiles.

  I land on the cushions between them like nothing has changed. In their minds, nothing has. They are blissfully unaware I haven’t been around and that they can’t leave on their own. They won’t even try while under the suggestion to stay inside the apartment.

  It feels strange to come back to my place, knowing I won’t go across the hall later. Donny will be looking for us soon enough if he’s not already. Depends on how clever Hex is at keeping our disappearance under wraps. Either way, one of them will be staking out the building with Lowers, waiting for me to pop up. I can’t chance them stumbling onto my charges.

  Cass has already dropped Hannah, but before he and Rosdan leave for the night, we duck into the kitchen. Just the three of us.

  “What do you want to do about…” Rosdan tips his head toward Nyx in the living room.

  “She stays here with me.”

  Cass raises an eyebrow. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

  “Would you rather she go with you?” I ask.

  “Fuck no,” he says fast. “Hannah would use the Dimming Blade on me if I brought another chick home. Just do us all a favor and don’t find a way to make this worse.”

  “Love you too, Cassie.”

  After a heartwarming, “Whatever, asshole,” he texts Hannah for a burst of light out. They’ve gotten timing her adrenaline down to a science.

  With him occupied, it leaves me to deal with Rosdan’s pity eyes.

  “Come on,” I tell him as I hold out my arms. “Bring it in.”

  He gives me a hug, slapping me on the back. Our dude moment gets an eye roll from Cass before he drops out of the kitchen.

  “I’ll be here tomorrow to start working with the blade,” he says, bringing his phone to his ear.

  “Thanks, buddy. I’ll owe you one if you pull this off.”

  His charge must spook from the late-night call. He drops without saying anything, and I toss the crystal into the blocker bag, sealing us off from everything Heaven and Hell.

  It’s after one when I walk into the living room on my way to the bathroom. I smell like that shitty body wash in the camper, so a second shower it is.

  I pass Nyx, still sunk into the chair. “Consider this home until we clean up your mess.”

  She opens her mouth, but I shake my head, cutting her off before she can argue.

  Prisoners do not get negotiating rights. And since she made herself an integral part of my existence, she’s not leaving my sight until one of us is dead.

  I rush to follo
w Chaz into the bathroom, where he’s setting the amulet Rosdan gave him on the counter.

  “I have to get to Nyla. Hex knows where she is, and if he—what are you doing?”

  His shirt hits the tiled floor, and he’s unbuttoning his jeans. “I’m going to scrub off the camper”—he pushes them down and straightens up, stepping out of the legs—“and then sleep. Unless you want to…” He gestures toward the shower.

  My eyes travel down his body, but instead of taking him up on his offer, I hold my wrists up, knot out. “At least untie me.”

  He turns on the water. “No can do. You’re a runaway risk.”

  Then, he steps into the shower, and a second later, the curtain separates us.

  I sag against the counter, exhausted on every level. Nyla would have loved tonight—three Fallen in one room together. She would have willingly been restrained for it to happen too. If I could, I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat even if it meant I was down to my final life.

  I stare at a loose thread on the black tie Chaz found to use when we got back. “Can I ask you something?”

  He doesn’t answer at first, but then a bottle snaps open. “You’re going to anyway.”

  “Kasdaye and Armaros—”

  “Cass and Rosdan,” he corrects. “Modern names for modern angels, baby.”

  “They’re your brothers, right?” I only pause a second before I rush through the rest in case he tries to cut me off. “Look at everything they’ve done for you these past few days. To protect you. Nyla and I have always done that for each other, and she’s helpless right now. If it were Cass or Rosdan stuck in a bed and unable to defend themselves, you’d do whatever you could. So, it’s not fair to ask me to just sit here when Hex could lead Abaddon straight to her. He’ll use her to try to get to me, and then—”

  Chaz pops his head around the shower curtain, his wet hair dripping down his face as he nods at his jeans on the floor. “Get my phone.”

  I drop to my knees and pull it out of the pocket. He’s wiping his hand on a towel hanging by the tub when I hold it up for him. He shakes his head, tapping one-handed, and then he tosses it onto my lap before disappearing behind the curtain again.